partu, continued

  him: ?
  me: mother came in
  from like
  30 minutes away
  waddled in
  with our help
  we checked her out
  baby was still 5cm away
  so we were like
  k nap time
  i pass out
  wake up
  mother is moaning and groaning
  him: 5cm away roflrofl
  me: we suit up
  it becomes apparent
  she’s wicked exhausted
  and not feeling it
  she’s 34
  this is her fourth baby
  the dad is like
  not going in there
  so her mother
  who’s like
  in her sixties
  is the one who helps her slightly
  however she still pushes
  pretty weakly
  and it takes
  baby crowns
  pretty blue
  adorable child though
  very pretty eyes
  we have to suction him though
  because he decided to get a face full of blood
  but yeah
  dressed him up all nice
  antibiotic’d his eyes
  nurse gave the mom a nice shot of oxytocin
  bam bam
  thank you ma’am
  *wham bam
  breastfed normally
  i scrubbed down
  and now it’s 4am
  him: dayum.
  me: well maternity is
  sometimes you show up
  a baby comes at 8pm
  you can sleep soundly
  like my friend
  you go in
  wake up
  and the damn baby
  has slid out
  of the mom
  in the bed
  because it’s her tenth child
  and i’ll be damned if that tissue
  isn’t as new as it used to be
  him:  brrrrr
  me: lul

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